A man left from work one Friday afternoon.But,being payday,instead of going home,he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When He finally appeared at home,Sunday Night,he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him,"How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied."That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Come Thursday,the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Important to Learn a Second Language
A family of mice was being chased by a big cat.Father Mouse jumped and said,“Bow-wow!”The surprised cat ran away scared.“What was that,Father?”asked
Baby Mouse.“Well,son,that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.”Wherever I Touch,It Hurts
A man goes to the doctor and says,“Doctor,wherever I touch,it hurts.”
The doctor asks,“What do you mean?”
The man says,“When I touch my shoulder,it really hurts.If I touch my knee—
OUCH!When I touch my forehead,it really,really hurts.”
The doctor says,“I know what’s wrong with you—you’ve broken your finger!”
What can I do?
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.He doesn’t seem to bebreathing and his eyes are glazed over.The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services.He gasps,“My friend is dead!What can I do?”Theoperator says,“Calm down,I can help.First,let’s make sure he’s dead.”There is a silence,then a shot is heard.Back on the phone,the guy says,“OK,nowwhat?”
Whose Father was the Stronger
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger.Will said,“Well,
you know the Pacific Ocean?My father’s the one who dug the hole for it.”
Bill wasn’t impressed,“Well,that’s nothing.You know the Dead Sea?My father’s
the one who killed it!”
On a trip to Disney once we were.
World in Florida,my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction.After three exhausting days,we
headed for home.
As we drove away,our son waved and said,“Good-bye,Mickey.”
Our daughter waved and said,“Good-bye,Minnie.”
My husband waved,rather weakly,and said,“Good-bye,Money.”